Software engineering as Kama Sutra

Published at: 2010-03-03 22:43:02 UTC in A Foo walks into a Bar... blog. Summary >>

At the meeting today we thought that the idea of our bored manager (you've seen it in Dilbert) to adapt Scrum is not so bad. It seems we're experiencing sudden attempt to use yet another cool software engineering framework; that is all developers usually don't like. Having been unusually and weirdly excited about such a commonly undesirable change, I tried to figure out why's that...

And I think I got it. Tomorrow we're trying to try a new sex position with my beloved wife. Yes, I lately realized that I'm totally married to my job (which I unconsciously referred to in a recent blog post). And the excitement is that we're finally going to switch that missionary position to something new and with more... movement, I guess.

But then I suddenly realized. The whole software engineering thing is just a large group sex Kama Sutra.

Just look at it.

"Agile methodologies" will totally require you being in a good physical shape to satisfy the project and do a lot of different things for that.

Scrum, with all its "chicken" and "pigs" being a reference to "men" and "women", requires rhythmic moving. However, I think, constantly questioning the partner whether things go well doesn't work well in the bed. Hell, "think"; I know; you too do.

Some techniques are even worse, however. "Extreme programming", that values fast delivery, isn't that women usually want. And this DSDM technique... I don't think it needs further explanations.

Of course, while in nearly every domain of human activity you can find sexual reference, it was funny to look it up in software engineering. However, it appears to be not that funny as I expected. So, basically, tomorrow I'm having a new sex. Isn't it what 80% of blogs are about?

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